Letters & Blogs

Still sometimes when these memories flashes in the back of mind, a flooding smile envelopes my whole face which lingers on more than usual.

I can still recollect sitting in the chair throughout the whole night staring the PC. Never heard of the programming till then, being an introvert couldn’t even ask for help. I was all alone in an alien world, where everyone other than me happened to know everything. There was a sound, echoed in the corner of my crumpled heart – “Welcome to the realm of Magicians”.

I can still recall waiting to get MTL answer script, sweaty palms, pumping heart were amplifying the fear of unknown.

Always believed that math is all just numbers till then, now for getting marks I couldn’t ask that God cause He had already done so much for me. While many other students emerged from the room carrying the smirk of the satisfaction, the words echoed in my trembling heart – “Welcome to the realm of Magicians”.

Endlessly staring at the criss-crossed bricks of the pavement, I used to ponder on my past where everything used to be accomplished just like a snap, where I always wondered why others are not able do such simple things. Time reversed my role and now I was the victim of self-pity without any answers. I cursed the reservation for thrusting me among the paragons of talent. In that fast moving world, I didn’t find it appropriate to stop anyone for getting help. Everyone felt like the fast moving cars in front of the Sassi’s dhaba, and I was the bystander, self-contained with all the turmoil in my head.

Year passed and still everything was doom & gloom, until one day. One evening sitting on the bench outside of the hostel, I experienced an epiphany.

“I was not able to see between the Pledge, Turn and Prestige. The closer you look, less you see. Was I watching too closely?” After stranding in the moving traffic for yearlong to try to cope up and to find out the secret, I resolved to step out of it & preferred to contemplate for long while walking on the footpath leading to nowhere.

Down the road I’ve met a guide possessing an aura of positivity. Ray of hope lightened up my heart a little. Further I met other guides filled with enthusiasm, passion, full of energy and full of support - (Professors). Then I encountered few faces smiling down at me who helped me to pick up the pieces of my shattered self-confidence - (Friends).

Since the time I slowed down, mystery started unraveling itself. Sitting among the spectators I was now able to glimpse through the curtain, below the deck. The great secret was the sacrifices they had already made and I was yet to make.

An incessant fountain of self-confidence revived which stimulated happiness. Now I was and still am on a roller coaster which is only going up. And the rhythm set in, little things started to elevate my feeling of joy, such as –

Lying down on my back in football ground with arm wide open on a drizzling evening;

&& composing my breaths to walk on the pedestrian fencing;

&& feeling goosebumps as the music seeps down into my body while rambling inside the campus;

&& sweating profusely while playing under the moonlit sky;

&& witnessing mesmerizing sunset from the retaining wall of the cricket ground;

&& pacing up and down in the Impact Lab at 3AM;

&& to awaken in deep night and scribbling down the spontaneous idea;

&& strolling with friends;

&& sipping tea and observing people while sitting leisurely on 270 degree.

IIT Delhi is the best thing ever happened to me. And then not so long ago another adventurous but beautiful journey is commenced @ ISRO.

I’m especially grateful to all my Friends and Professors who helped me become the person who I am today.