Letters & Blogs

I am an introvert person. Just to give you an idea - when I took admission in 9th class my nearest town, on the very first day I cried on the stairs just because I couldn't find my classroom and didn't want to ask anyone. The fact is, I don't settle easily anywhere. That was the pretty much case with the IIT Delhi also. On the first day, my Uncle dropped me here and didn't even stay for Registration with the excuse that he is not well educated, so he would not be able to help. Fortunately, my roommate's father helped me through the registration process while he helped me with the classes and labs.

Classes started. Soon I realized that Professors are teaching at a very fast pace, more than we are accustomed to while preparing for JEE. Almost in two months, they taught more than what we learned in a year at JEE time. That was not the only problem. Several things that I never heard of, were being taught to us. The first example is the MTL100 Calculus, in which we were always asked to prove something using some theorem, never understood clearly what we are doing and also how & why. I still remember the scene when I was standing outside the classroom for the view to major answer script. Let me tell you that my pre-major total was 24/60. I came to know that most of the students coming out of the room got marks around 4,5,6/40. I was a bit afraid that I won't pass that course. More afraid of the fact that there is a strong possibility that I won't be able to pass it again because I always hated those theorems and proofs. Honestly, pure mathematics is not my thing. You may laugh at me but I still don't know how to solve integrals. Just a few months ago I learned the sin(A+B) formula and by parts integrals method from my friend, but I forgot it again, always happens to me. When our group-9 was called, I went into the room, signed the attendance, and took the answer script. As I gazed at the paper, my heart skipped a beat. I survived. I got 8/60.

Another example is Computer Programming. Never heard of it in my life till then. It was Friday. I went to meet up with a relative who lives in Delhi. I came on Sunday evening. As I was about to enter my room, one of my friends Praful came and asked "kitna percent hua ?". When I asked him what he was talking about, he replied "nhi hoga tere se ek din me. Log 48 ghante se CSC me baithe hai." I went to CSC (computer service center) and found that people were doing the first COL100 assignment. I sat for nearly 12 hours in front of the PC but didn't write a single line of code, as I didn't know what a code is. Nobody helped because they were busy with their own assignment. That was my first year lying in the corner seat in the class, always afraid of "khi prof koi question na puch le ". Things happen at a very high pace in IIT. I couldn't cope up. Even my friends couldn't help me. The problem with me is that I don't assume/agree to things easily. When someone tells me something first I visualize things. If I'm able to visualize the whole thing completely only then do I agree. That's why I was not able to follow in class. Later I came to know that in this world of science most things don't exist in physical form. The band-diagram helps us to predict the behavior of the semiconductor subjected to different conditions but it does not actually exist in the material, the atoms and electrons sit in the semiconductor similar to any other metal. For a given phenomenon different people come up with different hypotheses, whichever closely fits and is easy to understand is widely accepted and the person becomes famous as a scientist. But the beauty is even if you don't know everything about a particular thing, you can create something good out of it. For example, a person working in the robotics area doesn't need to know about the physics of semiconductor devices to build the robot. He can treat all the chips as some black box doing a certain function.

There were times when I used to think that I was misplaced in the IIT, I didn't belong here. Everybody seemed to be extremely talented. I should have been in some other colleges like NITs. While everything was so doomed, a miracle happened. Third semester, a professor came. There was something special about him. He possessed an aura of positive energy. That was the first time when I dared to sit in the first row. After that, I never sat in any other row. Don't think that I began to understand everything that was being taught or fear of the professors vanish suddenly.

Gradually my lost self-confidence started coming back little by little. Although I got a 'C' grade in that course, the experience was amazing. The fourth semester began another amazing professor came named Dr. Uday Khankhoje. He is a great teacher and very amiable. In his first class itself, he allowed us to bring tea or coffee in the class. Electromagnetic is my favorite subject, although I couldn't solve the divergence, integrals. It feels vivid, alive because we are learning the nature of Nature itself. One day I was playing football in Nalanda ground, Uday sir passed from there and said hello. Later I thought that 'hello' must be for Divpreet who was also playing with me. He is one of my best friends. We both used to sit in the front row since III semester. But he was department rank 1st & I was nowhere near to him in academics. But one evening Uday sir was going on a cycle and he was waving at me from the other side of the road. That was a thrilling moment, I said to myself "wow! That's how a professor should be."

During those days I discovered a trick to gain confidence. Whenever I needed confidence, I worked really hard in that field, even though it was not the optimum strategy to score. That's the reason I worked hard even for seminar courses, design credits, Ethics courses. People used to pass these courses without even attending a single class. I learned this trick while working for the Electromagnetics course poster day. It weighed only 20% marks still I was engrossed in the solar-storms for months.

While my relations with a professor becoming better, there was a blow. Divpreet and I planned to apply for an intern at IISC. So we needed a recommendation letter. So we went to a professor. First blow, she asked about our CGPA as we entered the room. I thought 'Thank goodness! at least I got B- in his course'. But as I mentioned my grade, she said "Don't expect anything from me if you didn't get A, A-". My confidence was delicate like as a dandelion, a little puff from here and there and it was blown to bits. After that incident, I came to know that we have to complete five design credits. The fear came back to me. I thought that I wouldn't even get a project from professors because of the grades. In those times I even wondered that whether I would be able to complete my degree. I was having a serious problem with overthinking. Did I mention to you that I was an introvert? So I started looking at professors' web pages, as I was told that there is a good chance to get a project if you know their area of interest. I loved to ruminates about circuits in Prof. Shouri's class. He had an amazing teaching style which made me fall in love with analog electronics. Therefore, I was looking only for professors who were working in the analog field. Some students took projects under Shouri sir, all of them had high CGPA, so I thought there is little chance to get a project under him.

One day I was passing through IInd block, I found Mayank Bansal (one of my best friends) sitting there. I told him that I wanted to do some project. He told me immediately that let's go and get a project. Actually, he was sitting in front of Prof. Mukul Sarkar's room. I said " I am not going, I haven't even revised my analog notes. Let's assume he won't judge me by my CGPA, but he'll at least test my knowledge and understanding. I'm not yet ready to go and meet him." But he insisted. I asked him to give me five minutes, I went through his area of research. Then he opened the door and asked him for a winter project. I can still recall the exact word he said " Maje ke liye utha rhe ho, ya kuch sikhne ke liye, sikhna h na , seriously kaam karoge? " I didn't speak a word just kept nodding. "Jao Impact lab Chandani hogi usse baat krlo." It was less than a two-minute conversation. As we came out of his room Mayank told me "Chill maar ho gya, mil gya project." I said you must be kidding, it couldn't be that easy. When Chandani Ma'am asked me to learn about Cadence then I finally believed that I finally got a project. I would be able to complete my degree. For next 14 months that Lab became my home. I remember that many times I used to stay there till early mornings alone. On my way back to the hostel, after long hours I would feel a sense of satisfaction. Those days were my happiest time in IITD.

There were several other things that happened in my life at IIT, but I would keep it short.

Some great professors I met :

Prof. S D Joshi:: I always presumed that professors are generally very busy people. Despite being of the head of the department whenever he used to meet me he always found two minutes time to ask how I was doing. Looking at the glow at his face I wonder 'why was I sad'.

Prof. Bhuvaneshwari:: She told us once that " I'm being paid for what I love, what else I can desire." I never liked machines, but Electric drives were one of the best courses I took. I learned from her that If someone wants to be happy throughout his life, he must have passion for his job.

Prof. SMK Rahman:: Working with him during my summer project, the best experience at IIT. After meeting him, I came to know that Professors are also humans like the rest of us.

Prof. Milind:: His courses on Buddhism were most soothing. Even when I used to be tired in the evening, his class always felt relaxing. Also, he taught us to think critically about everything around us.

There were two turning points in my IIT life 1st when I sat in the first row in Professor MJK's class and 2nd when I stepped into Prof. Mukul Sarkar's room.

I'll always be grateful.