Letters & Blogs

I choked in the farewell function due to the overwhelming emotions. This is the right moment to write my unspoken words.

' When in my college I touched the football for the first time, I was enthralled by it that the day never came when I missed playing. Still, I never was good at it, but one thing that I could attribute to myself is relentlessness. When I was on the ground I'd always made striker's life miserable. '

When in ISRO I touched the igniter card for the first time, I fell in love with it. I was not good at it but one thing that I could attribute to myself is relentlessness. I never even bothered about sleep and food until I'd solve the problem.

' I found a friend in college, who taught me that instead of simply running after opponents how to be good enough to save team's back. He nurtured me at every step while playing. Still, I was such a slow learner that I used to write the instructions on my hand. Nevertheless, it used to work. '

Just as Mike finds Harvey, I found you. You knew that I put my heart and soul into the things I love. So you nurtured me at each step. I was still a slow learner but you were my exponential, who helped me to push myself far beyond my limits.

' I always thought I was not good enough to play in the inter-hotel team. Until one day when during the match he came out of the ground and told me 'go get into the game'. I was not ready but one thing that I can recollect is that after that moment I was in each one of the games for the rest of the years there. '

I didn't know how would I make take decisions if you were not there to correct me. So till the last moment, I was trying hard to get guidance from you. And then on the relieving day when I asked for a recommendation for chassis, you didn't even look at it and said ' whatever decision you'll make will be correct one'. Suddenly it flashed in my mind that I was inside the football playground. I didn't know that without my best mentor, best critic how will I filter out my stupid illogical ideas from the good ones. So I choked in the function, could even utter the speech I was imagining delivering for two weeks.

I want to do many things in life but time is limited. The only way to do that is to learn crucial skills really fast. You were the conglomeration of many of them. Evidently, the best way to grow fast was to emulate you. So you can take credit for lots of skills I acquired, Extroversion: when you showed me that how easy it is to make a friend, Inquisitiveness, Never giving up on a problem, Documenting the ideas, Questioning everything I perceive, Staying composed in meetings, Taking a stand for others, Going on a solo trip, Hardworking, Watching Tamil and Malayalam movies and songs, etc. The best thing I learned from you is the fact everything is really simple it's us who perceive it as complicated. Your common phrase "simple hai", now makes a lot of sense.

When I look back I don't find many memories with you (except a few like the Madurai trip when we just passed the death by an inch) then why do I feel your absence every minute in office. I figured the reason today when I was trying to motivate Firoz, he told the exact same words Gokul also told me earlier. I figured many good traits of yours are mirrored in me. That explains that why my relations with people are becoming better for the past few weeks.

The past few weeks you made me so busy that I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. Maybe that's the way of life, sometimes we met people who bring disruptive change in your personality and just vanish in a snap. When I was given the responsibility for the anode, I was not ready, in fact, I was afraid. So I resolved to keep on working on it until I get the confidence. Today when efficiency hits 90.37%, with ZCZVS, without any secondary ringing, I was in euphoria mixed with sadness.

As a torchbearer, I'd make sure that your vision and efforts in ESG will not go in vain. And I'd make sure that your baby flies up there soon enough. (# made by humans on earth) That'd be my parting gift for you.

Stay like phosphorus, you never in whom you are kindling an inspiration.

"Farewell my friend, where ever you fare."